We’re taught that shame is how people learn.
That without it, there would be no ethics, no accountability, no conscience.
That story doesn’t add up
Shame does not create sustainable behavior change. It creates compliance, self-attack, and fear of visibility. That’s why it’s so widely used -in families, institutions, politics, and culture at large.
In this short clip, I break down why shame is always manipulative, why it’s systemic rather than personal, and why the idea that “a little shame is healthy” is a fabrication that keeps the cycle running.
To read more of my content around shame and narcissistic systems check out these articles:
The Shame Implant: How Western Culture Wired Us to Hate Ourselves
Shame long predates Christianity. But the particular flavour of shame that shaped Western culture, internalized, moralized, and pathologized, is distinctly Christian. This isn’t the face-saving shame found in tribal or Eastern cultures meant to protect the group. This is something deeper and more corrosive: the belief that
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